In this Blog I have made many references to the "Long List of Things I Don't Get." These are just a group of things I don't understand and never will. It includes things like tattoos, jewelry and fireworks etc. I don't know why people like them, do them, spend money on them etc. I can add transgenderism to that list. This is not a phobia, I have trans friends and I am accepting of them, but I will never get it. I have made this clear with them and they seem to understand. I am sure there are things about me that they don't understand. In the same way, that I find every tattoo I have ever seen as gross, but I still have several friends that have them. Life is complicated this way.
Most people won't have a problem with the above paragraph, but they may have a problem the fact that I don't really care what pronoun you want me to use. I am going to use whatever pronoun comes to mind. You can correct me, but I will not make an effort to change or remember the "correct" pronoun for the future. If we have enough interactions, I may get it right eventually, but that will happen more by rote than anything else, not by any effort on my part. I find it silly, laborious and not worth the time and/or effort. I get emails from people with their preferred pronouns in the trailer. What am I suppose to do with this? Should I keep a spreadsheet of everyone I meet so that I can update everyone's preferred pronouns? When I meet or talk about one of these people, I can stop my discourse and pull out my spreadsheet to make sure I have the correct one. Yeah, that's going to happen (this is sarcasm).
Here's an idea. If you want someone to call you "he" but they call you "she," or vice versa, instead of correcting them, just deal with it. This is what adults do; they save their ire for more important stuff. I had a conversation with a trans friend about this and he said it is the young trans folks driving this. Older trans folk don't care. Since he told me this, I have been trying to pay attention to who the Pronoun Army actually is and he may be correct. By the way, I refer to him as "him" and "he" because when I grew up with him, he was not trans, at least not openly, everyone called him "him." I don't know what he prefers now, but I guess he has a lot more things to care about than pronouns. Since he's an adult, I am guessing he doesn't give a shit. He just deals with the small stuff and saves the fight for the big stuff. Choose your battles, the Pronoun Army's battle is petty one.
Here's another thing I will not do: I will not refer to one person as "they" or "them." Unless a person can prove to me that they are two or more people, I will not do it. This is what "they" and "them" are for. Don't believe me? Look it up. I am not talking about duality or having multiple-conflicting personalities ... I am talking about two or more physical people, that's what a "they" and "them" is. One person, "he," "her," "him," or "she;" two or more "they" or "them." I will not butcher the English language just because someone who hasn't grown up wants to chose my words for me. I chose my own words; I've been doing so for over a half a century and I don't plan on surrendering that right any time soon.
Isn't that the ultimate micro-aggression, telling someone else what words to use?
This nonsense has gotta a bit out of hand. I hope this is something we look back on in twenty years and laugh. I have applied for jobs on-line that actually asks me what pronoun I prefer. For these I select "Other" and type "thee" and "thy." Makes about as much sense as anything else.
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