Dealing with Doom

How do you deal with the doom? How do you get through the day or find meaning in your life when you know that every minute of your life you are contributing to the destruction of the planet that we live on? I am asking because I am dealing with it just fine, most days, but I don't know how. I don't know how I deal with the presence of this idea that my very existence is the problem with our ecosystem. The human race is a virus with no vaccine, we are the apex predator with no controls on our growth; we are unchecked and unmatched, Every breath we take produces more carbon, more death to our planet, along with close to eight billion others who are doing the same. Each day we have less forest to absorb it. Most of us know this and yet we go on. How do we do it? 

I guess I know the answer but it can't that simple. The answer is that we don't deal with it. We just ignore it and go about our day as if nothing is wrong. Denial. Like John Lennon sings in Strawberry Fields: "Living is easy with eyes closed." I would think that this applies to most of us, but I could be wrong. It could just be me; maybe I'm the outlier. I ignore it most of the time. I just slip into my routine, like a comfy suit and go about my day as if I am not on a virus on a dying planet. Obviously this isn't a full time thing, because if it was I wouldn't be writing this now. If no one thought about it, then no one would be working on it. But most of us are going about our day in complete denial. Some go even further, they are completely clueless about it. I envy these people, they go about their day never thinking about it because they have no idea what I am talking about. I hear people say stuff like "I want to have a large family, maybe eight kids" as if this is actually a viable option. There they are, the clueless, I think to myself. The bell curve on human existence is long past. The top of the curve was probably some time in my parent's lifetime, the boomers, and we are tripping down that hill, the ass end of that bell curve, fast ... like a roller coaster. No stopping us now. 

I hate to break it to you, parents, but your little ball of sunshine does not have a fairy tale life in front of them. If things continue as they are, and I see no reason why they won't, either in their lifetime, or if they are lucky, in their children's lifetime, they will experience war over resources like clean water, long bounts without electricity, famine, pandemics galore, environmental upheavals like we have never seen, etc. I know the response to my saying this by many of my friends (many of them very liberal) will be that humanity will figure it out and fix it like we tackled the hole in the ozone layer. A message to them: please see above paragraph about denial. By the time humanity "figures it out" the population of the planet will have doubled. We are not discovering another earthlike planet nearby or terraforming Mars anytime soon. We are fucked!

Don't look to our leaders for an answer. If we were serious about this problem, we'd have better leaders who were talking about it, at least. Instead we have the opposite. America just voted for the worst person possible, a global warming denier, to be president twice, and he almost won the middle election as well. So fucked indeed!

Distractions help. For some it is drugs, sex, television, religion, sports, video games, art, music, pets, hiking,reading ... all of the above. I use several of these in a bouquet of distractions. Now that I am unemployed (aka retired), I have way too much time to think about such stuff. I play Civilization V on my pc and fill my brain with dopamine that helps me get through the day; each time one of my missile cruisers sinks one of my enemy's nuclear subs, I get a spike of happiness that gets me through the day. Escape, escape, escape. 

Not convinced of our destruction? Here's a short list of problems being caused by you, me and 8 billion others going about their day:

• Climate change and global warming: driven by green house gases from burning fossil fuels and mammals exhaling, rising temperatures are causing severe droughts, melting ice caps and extreme weather. 
• Biodiversity loss: human consumption and habitat destruction push countless plant and animal species toward extinction, weakening vital ecosystems.
• Air, water and soil pollution: contaminants from industrial waste, chemicals, and poor sanitation choke oceans, poison water supplies and degrade arable land. 
• Deforestation: clearing massive areas of forest for agriculture and infrastructure destroys carbon sinks and wildlife habitats
• Plastic pollution: single-use plastics accumulate in landfills and oceans, breaking-down into microplastics that disrupt marine and human health
• Shrinking cloud shield: we are so fucked that even the clouds are a problem. Satellite data shows that global reflective cloud cover has dropped over the last two decades, allowing more sunlight to hit the Earth's surface, resulting in more heat being trapped. The cause of this is polluted air, higher humidity and a warming ocean. 

None of these problems are getting better. 

I try to live a simple life. I barely buy anything I don't need to survive. But even that is too much. Everything you buy contributes to our destruction. No matter what it is, it requires some burning of fossil fuels to get it to you and to make. 

Why go on? I know this is the logical next thought to this problem. If my killing myself would solve the problem I would do it, but it doesn't even come close. Even if a thousand of like-minded people embarked on a suicide pact, it would not even scratch the underlining problem. One person isn't the problem; one person isn't the solution. One thousand people aren't the problem; one thousand people aren't the solution. Eight billion people ... now, that is the problem! 

Excuse me, time to move on. I am due for another dose of denial. I have a novel to read, a movie to enjoy, a walk to enjoy with my dogs, etc. etc. etc. I thought about this enough today. 

I Don't Care What Pronouns You Prefer

In this Blog I have made many references to the "Long List of Things I Don't Get."  These are just a group of things I don't understand and never will. It includes things like tattoos, jewelry and fireworks etc. I don't know why people like them, do them, spend money on them etc. I can add transgenderism to that list. This is not a phobia, I have trans friends and I am accepting of them, but I will never get it. I have made this clear with them and they seem to understand. I am sure there are things about me that they don't understand. In the same way, that I find every tattoo I have ever seen as gross, but I still have several friends that have them. Life is complicated this way.

Most people won't have a problem with the above paragraph, but they may have a problem the fact that I don't really care what pronoun you want me to use. I am going to use whatever pronoun comes to mind. You can correct me, but I will not make an effort to change or remember the "correct" pronoun for the future. If we have enough interactions, I may get it right eventually, but that will happen more by rote than anything else, not by any effort on my part. I find it silly, laborious and not worth the time and/or effort. I get emails from people with their preferred pronouns in the trailer. What am I suppose to do with this? Should I keep a spreadsheet of everyone I meet so that I can update everyone's preferred pronouns? When I meet or talk about one of these people, I can stop my discourse and pull out my spreadsheet to make sure I have the correct one. Yeah, that's going to happen (this is sarcasm).

Here's an idea. If you want someone to call you "he" but they call you "she," or vice versa, instead of correcting them, just deal with it. This is what adults do; they save their ire for more important stuff. I had a conversation with a trans friend about this and he said it is the young trans folks driving this. Older trans folk don't care. Since he told me this, I have been trying to pay attention to who the Pronoun Army actually is and he may be correct. By the way, I refer to him as "him" and "he" because when I grew up with him, he was not trans, at least not openly, everyone called him "him." I don't know what he prefers now, but I guess he has a lot more things to care about than pronouns. Since he's an adult, I am guessing he doesn't give a shit. He just deals with the small stuff and saves the fight for the big stuff. Choose your battles, the Pronoun Army's battle is petty one.  

Here's another thing I will not do: I will not refer to one person as "they" or "them." Unless a person can prove to me that they are two or more people, I will not do it. This is what "they" and "them" are for. Don't believe me? Look it up. I am not talking about duality or having multiple-conflicting personalities ... I am talking about two or more physical people, that's what a "they" and "them" is. One person, "he," "her," "him," or "she;" two or more "they" or "them."  I will not butcher the English language just because someone who hasn't grown up wants to chose my words for me. I chose my own words; I've been doing so for over a half a century and I don't plan on surrendering that right any time soon. 

Isn't that the ultimate micro-aggression, telling someone else what words to use? 

This nonsense has gotta a bit out of hand. I hope this is something we look back on in twenty years and laugh. I have applied for jobs on-line that actually asks me what pronoun I prefer. For these I select "Other" and type "thee" and "thy." Makes about as much sense as anything else.

A Shout Out to Billy Joel

One of the best parts of having older siblings is you can raid their music collection. I discovered Pink Floyd, Crosby Stills and Nash and David Bowie from my brother, Ronnie, with his copies of Meddle, Deja Vu and Diamond Dogs, respectively. From my sister, Karen, who is closer in age to me, when I discovered Elton John's Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, I was introduced to really great song writing for the first time. Those other albums had great lyrics, but Bernie Taupin's storytelling in Captain Fantastic just blew me away. Definitely, Elton's best. She had Stones albums, the Eagles, Rush and the Beatles among others. At that time, I saw them as their music, not mine. It wasn't until I discovered Billy Joel that I had my music. 

I know a lot of people don't care for his music. He is too light for the rockers; he plays a piano and not a guitar. He has all those pop hits. Yet the pop music fans seem to reject him as well. 52nd Street, probably his best album, did win the Best Album Grammy in 1980, but he is relatively ignored after that. In 1979, "Just the Way You Are" won for best song Grammy, but the album that it is on, The Stranger, has far better songs on it ("Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" and "Vienna" to name only two), didn't even get nominated. It is people like me, who fall somewhere in the between, that hold him in high esteem.

I have always loved the piano. Elton John, Keith Emerson, Leon Russel, Rick Wright (Pink Floyd), Rick Wakeman (Yes), Page McConnell (Phish), Ray Manzarek (The Doors) and Nicky Hopkins (session musician for the Stones) are a few of my favorites. So, it makes sense that I would be a fan of Joel, but he is also a great song writer and a decent singer with an appropriate amount of attitude. 

Saving up to buy an album was an achievement when I was 14.  They cost about $7.00 at the time and so I had to save up at least two weeks' allowance to buy one. Hence, it had to be a good one. The Stranger was one of the first I ever bought. "Movin' Out" and "Only the Good Die Young" was getting played on the radio. My mother hated "Only the Good Die Young." She was one of the Catholic ladies that wanted it removed from the radio because it "encouraged people to be bad," as if anyone ever needs encouragement to do that. I think it was the line "Catholic girls start much too late" that did it.  Perhaps it was the fact that it was forbidden fruit that I wanted it so badly. 

While waiting for his next albums to come out, 52nd Street, I remember buying his back catalog at bargain bins or used records stores. Before The Stranger, there was Piano Man, Streetlife Serenade and Turnstiles. I have a foggy memory of biking home with one of them in a plastic bag in my left hand and my right hand on the bike handle. Kids! Right?

At some point in the early 1980's, I wrote a fan letter to Billy. The only fan letter I ever wrote; in it, I asked him if the next time he came to Providence, if he could play the song "Angry Young Man." The Innocent Man tour in 1984 opened in Providence. I went with my friend Scott and my little sister, (I think I remember this right) and not only did he play the song, but he opened the show and the tour with it. It was phenomenal. It looked a little like this:

When 52nd Street eventually came out, I bought it in 8 track as opposed to album. I loved this album. While my friends started getting into early heavy metal (Judas Priest, Kiss, Van Halen etc.), I was getting into the piano and horns on "Zanzibar", "Half a Mile", "Rosalinda's Eyes" and "Stiletto". It was then that I realized that a lot of the best songs never get played on the radio. I loved the second half of this album (aka side 2) but none of these songs were ever hits. 

Like a good fan, I would buy his new albums as soon as they came out, before I had heard any of the songs. I loved Glass Houses and Nylon Curtain which was very Beatle-esque. Something happened in 1983. An Innocent Man, his 9th album, came out and I hated it. It was all candy pop, very little piano with a 1950's doo wop influence. I was so disappointed. I ended up liking the last song, "Keeping the Faith," but the rest the album I find unlistenable ... even now. 

In 1986, The Bridge, his 10th album, came out and I didn't like either. I thought I would get into it, eventually it was at least back to the style of his older albums, but it never happened. It had a few good songs, namely "Baby Grand" and "Big Man on Mulberry Street," but overall, it was very disappointing. The spell was broken. I couldn't get into the rest of his catalog. I don't know if he changed or if my taste had, probably both but I was done with him. I still love the stuff that I grew up with, but the newer stuff never did it for me. I realize that what I am calling "new" here, is about 40 years old. These type of things happen when you get old. 

I recently saw the HBO documentary, "Billy Joel: And So It Goes." It made me really think about his career and how it influenced me. Last year, 2025, he was diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus causing problems with his hearing, vision and balance. So, don't expect to see him live anytime soon. 

His albums in ranking of my favorite to least:

1. 1) 52nd Street
2. 2) Turnstiles
3. 3) Nylon Curtain
4. 4) Glass Houses
5. 5) Piano Man
6. 6) Streetlife Serenade
7. 7) Songs in the Attic (live)
8. 8) The Bridge
9. 9) Cold Spring Harbor
10. 10) Kohuept (live)
11. 11) Stormfront
12. 12) River of Dreams
13. 13) An Innocent Man
14. 
    

My Generation

I have been unemployed for a few weeks now. Not a big deal we are getting by, but I do get a little frugal when the income gets cut down to one breadwinner. It is not difficult to do other than my addiction... that is, the buying of new music. It is hard to control myself when the iTunes store is so easy to use; it is really difficult to stop. Luckily, I discovered that the library in the town next to ours, Essex, has an incredible collection of CDs. Occasionally, I pack up my laptop and attached CD player and do some ripping of some decent music .... everything from The Clash, Buzzcocks and Television to Adele and Molly Tuttle. This really helps with my addiction, like a nicotine patch. One of the best finds so far is a three-disc compilation of The Who. I have always loved the song, My Generation, but it just started hitting how truly great a song this is. Now that I am in my 60's, it is like I am hearing a different song than what I heard in my teens. This is proof of its genius. 

They are so youthful and full of energy in this 1967 appearance on the Smothers Brothers:

It has really gotten me thinking about the idea of generations. 

Thinking takes me to strange places. Isaac Asmimov's Foundation trilogy takes place in the distant future when there is so much documented history that historians (called psycho-historians) can predict the future using sophisticated mathematical models. We are not there yet, but once I had heard Strauss and Howe's generational theory, it made me think that we are getting a lot closer to Asimov's world than ever. 

Every 80 years or so, America goes through a revolution, a major upheaval that changes everything. Something occurs that changes the basic way to do things in this country. 

Here are the upheavals:

• 1780's: the American Revolution
• 1860's: the American Civil War
• 1940's: World War II and the Great Depression
• 2020's: Trump's bullshit (someday we'll have an official name, until then I am sticking with this)

Smaller upheavals happen as well, I am not forgetting them, like the Civil Rights Movement, the stock market crash of 1890 or the 911 terrorist attacks, but the big ones seem to come every 80 years. Yes, what is happening now in the 2020's, could very well be as big as the other three.

Strauss and Howe generational theory says it is more specifically 85 to 88 years. Generations are defined as groups of people, of similar age, who have a shared experience based on what is going in their society. Within these 80-year periods we have four generational cycles. They label them "adaptive," "idealist," "reactive," and "civic" generations, in order. Major events change our lives, and perception differs based on how old we are when they happen. The 911 attacks shaped the lives of millennials in a way I will never understand as a Gen Xer. 

William Strauss and Neil Howe describe these archetypes that we still use today. If you were born from 1901 to 1924, you are often called the GI generation or the Greatest Generation. This is the civic generation from the previous cycle. Born in 1925 to 1942, the lesser-known Silent Generation, is the adaptive generation. The Baby Boomers, born from 1943 to 60, are the idealists. This group produced the civil rights movement and hippies. Gen Xers, born from 60 to 83, ("I'm talking about my generation") is the reactive generation with the Millennials, from 82 to 2000, being the civic generation. Hence, the Gen Zs are the new civic generation as the cycle continues. No doubt, you could rip some holes in these generalizations, but it is fascinating, nonetheless. 

My generation, Gen X, was originally called the 13's, because we were the 13th American generation. That name didn't catch on. The label Generation X has several origin stories but the coolest one comes from Billy Idol's first punk band by the same name. We are the last generation that has a collective social pop culture memory. What I mean by this, is that we all watched the same television shows at the same time because on-demand media didn't exist and we only had three television stations, mostly. We listened to the same music because there was rarely one or two radio station available to us. VCRs came out in my teens, DVDs in my 20's, DVRs in my 30's and on-line streaming in my 40's and 50's. GenXers had to watch what was on when it was on. Every American Gen Xers can recite the Preamble to the American Constitution. Why? Because we all watched Saturday morning cartoons and School House Rock came on several times on many commercial breaks. 

We had to watch the commercials too. There was no fast forward or skip ad functionalities on our remote controls, if we had a remote. You had to watch what was on or go outside. For a while, I was my family's remote control: "Mark, change it to channel 5. Bonanza is on." "Mark, adjust the antennae." etc.

Regardless of how it sounds, I like being old. If only I had the energy of my youth and the mindfulness that I have now, in my youthful body. That'd be ideal. Truly, whoever said that "Youth was wasted on the young" was onto something. Somethings, though, we should leave to the young. When I see an 81-year old Roger Daltrey singing, "I hope I die before I get old," I really wonder: Why does he still play this song?  

Pete Townshend, the song's writer, said in a 1989 interview with Good Morning America that the line "I hope I die before I get old," was talking about the rich. "Old" is more of a state of mind, representing the establishment. I buy it, I guess. He was in his 40's at the time said this. He was 19 or 20 when he wrote the song. He had to say something to justify singing a song about youth, but he was also very rich at the time, so I am not sure his answer holds up. Like all generations, his, mine and yours, will all, eventually, "fff...fade away!" Everything becomes old and passe. 

I am old man. Please excuse me, my mind wanders. 

 

You Can Say the F Word Now

During Trump's first term, I knew many people that called him a fascist. I wasn't biting. Extreme terms get thrown around a lot during political discourse: Fascist, Nazi, Commie, etc. I remember actually looking up fascism in the dictionary and going through it carefully to see if it actually applied. He came close, don't get me wrong, but he wasn't there ... not yet.  We had a Congress controlled by an opposing party and a court that wasn't stacked yet. We might have become a fascist state had we not the controls in place to prevent it.

If you haven't figured it out yet, the F word I am talking about is Fascism, not that other one. 

I hate to sound like a high school term paper, but here we go, Google AI defines Fascism as follows:

extreme nationalism, glorification of a dictatorial leader, and the belief in a natural social hierarchy. Key characteristics include militarism, suppression of opposition, and the subordination of individual interests to the state. Other traits include a disdain for human rights, identification of enemies or scapegoats, and the control of media to promote propaganda.

Let's go through this. 

1) "Extreme Nationalism." All politicians cling to nationalism to one degree or other. Trump's extreme nationalism is obvious in his "America First" trope. As if we are not in a global community. When our neighbors and alleys succeed so do we. His nationalism is odd. He basically says, America used to be great, at some unspecified time in history, but not now, and only he can fix it. 

Trump's nationalism has an old name: isolationism. We've seen this before and we know it doesn't work. He seems to want everyone to fail, even our neighbors and allies, while America succeeds. Going after Canada based on fabrications, weakening NATO, pulling out of agreements like the Iranian deal and the Paris Accord and threatening Greenland ... these seem more like the acts of a mad king than an American president. While he tries to gain points with the idiot fringe of his base of supporters, he alienates everyone else. 

When our allies and neighbors succeed. A rising tide lifts all boats. 

2. The "glorification of a dictatorial leader." Trump has been kissing the asses of dictators since his first day in office. On the day I started this entry, he pardoned the President of Honduras, Juan Orlando Hernández, who was convicted of drug trafficking and has been sitting in jail for two years. Trump let him out 43 years early. Trump never met a dictator he didn't like.  Meanwhile, he promotes his own supremacy. Have you ever seen Trump admit he was wrong? Admitting you are wrong is a difficult thing for any leader, they all have problems with this, but not to the extent that Trump does. He will double down when cornered and lie through his teeth.

3) "The belief in a natural social hierarchy." This is the toughest one, because Trump is unpredictable and often contradictory. He often agrees with whomever he talks to last. He is not ideological but transactional. The natural hierarchy he clings to is hard to tamp down because of this.  

This MAGA movement got going during Barrack Obama's presidency. By promoting a lie questioning his citizenship, Trump was able to tap into some racial tensions that no one else dare touch. Clinging to such bullshit is an old habit of his. Remember the Central Park Five? He paid $85,000.00 for a full-page ad in four of New York City's most popular newspapers with the title: “Bring Back the Death Penalty. Bring Back Our Police!” The boys were eventually exonerated. 

He seems incapable of gaining any political cache without dragging someone else down. At the bottom of Trump's hierarchy is the vulnerable, political or otherwise. If he can take someone down and benefit from it, he is all over them like flies on shit. They are usually non-white, immigrants or women. 

At the top we can find wealthy white guys (Peter Thiel, Musk, Epstein.) 

The Trump hierarchy looks like this: 

• (top) billionaire and millionaire scum and foreign dictators,
• (2nd tier) MAGA ass-kissers and sycophants, 
• (3rd tier) MAGA base, 
• (4th tier) everyone else who is male and white and 
• (bottom tier) people who are of color or non-MAGA women.

4) "Militarism." Trump's first term was not very militant at all. I remember saying it was the one thing I did like about him, he had no love of war. But his second term has been so different. We are currently very close to being at war with Venezuela and at least 163 people have died in 21 strikes on vessels apparently importing drugs into the US. This is the greatest abuse of power of any US President in my lifetime, perhaps since Andrew Jackson and the Trail of Tears. We'll never know for sure if there were any drugs on any of these boats. These attacks were all illegal, they were not enemy combatants, and we are not at war with anyone in the Caribbean. Congress did not approve the attacks. If there are illegal drugs being imported on these ships, we have a legal process for this. We wait for them to come into our waters, and we get a warrant, seize the ship and search it. If the drugs are found, we arrest them and they face trial. Killing people without doing so, without due process, is called murder no matter who does it.  

Then we have this disastrous war in Iran. There is a reason why countries want nuclear weapons ... so that they don't get treated like Iran is being treated. If they had nuclear weapons, Trump would be their chums just like North Korea and Russia. This is such a waste of life, money and resources.

5) "Suppression of opposition." Trump tends to demonize his opponents labeling them with silly monikers and catch phrases. The moniker disappears if that person becomes his ally. We don't hear him calling Marco Rubio "Little Marco" anymore, because he is now Secretary of State and an ally. 

But this is not suppression. The off-cycle Gerrymandering that the Republicans are doing/attempting in Florida, Texas, Indiana, North Carolina, Ohio and Missouri is suppressing entire of swaths of Americans. These votes aren't being taken away but are being made meaningless. Redistricting during a non-census year is unprecedented. 

Trump has cut election security and cyber-security. He said that Senator Mark Kelly, (a possible 2028 Democratic nominee), should be "hanged." He's accused Democrats of "seditious behavior, punishable by death." Our country has a long history of political violence. This kind of shit from a president is so irresponsible. His approval rating is at 28%. Who the hell are these people that approve of this crap?

6) Subordination of individual interests to the state. It is clear that Trump is more interested in boosting his own coffers and his own ego than helping out the average American. He has made $45 million selling his $WLFI crypto coin and his $TRUMP meme coin since taking office in 2025. In that time he has made $23 million in licensing his name overseas. He was paid $28 million for the "Melania" so-called documentary, made over $90 million in legal settlements and was gifted a $400 million plane from Qatar. His net worth has improved, overall, roughly $2 billion since his second term began. 

By the way, how have you been handling the $4 per gallon gas prices?! That is not going away soon. If this bullshit war stopped today, the prices will not be coming down quickly.  The Middle East has been devastated by this war. Oil is a global market. The president can't do shit about it. 

7) Disdain for human rights, identification of enemies or scapegoats, and the control of media to promote propaganda.

I would be repeating myself if I went through all of this, but we haven't talked about the media yet. 

Trump has sued both CBS, BBC and ABC. His administration has gone after Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, 60 Minutes and The Wall Street Journal. The fourth estate has never been more embattled and more in danger of being irrelevant. In the meantime, less responsible media outlets have become the propaganda arm of the Republican part (Fox News, Breitbart New Network, Newsmax, etc.) It is very Orwellian. 

The idea that individual rights are subordinate to the state is right out of Orwell's 1984, aka the Fascism handbook. How did Orwell know so much? He witnessed it as a citizen of British owned India; fascism is merely colonialism turned inward. He witnessed it in Burma when he worked as a policeman, witnessed it as a soldier in the Spanish Civil War and as a writer during World War II. He would recognize Trump for what he is. Every Trumper I talk to justifies his actions as the ends justifies the means, that lying or breaking the law for the betterment of society is justified if it gets them to a place where they want America to be.

The slogan "Make America Great Again" implies that America is in decline, that there is a time in the past when America was great. When was that exactly? 1940's with its World War and internment camps? The Jim Crow Era or before then, when slavery was legal? If/when someone calls Trump a fascist, they are no longer being hyperbolic but just stating the obvious. America, what have we done?  Thought we were better than this? Guess again. 

The Best Movies of the 21st Century (so far)

Let's face it, the 21st century has really sucked so far. It started off with a contentious election and then the worst terrorist attack in American history. We had two unnecessary costly wars, a pandemic and introduction of the worst two-word phrase in the English language: President Trump. But what has been great is our art, namely movies ... hence I've come up with this list of the 100 best films of the century so far. I love making lists. 

Coming up with a list like this is a Herculean task. I started it about a year ago. I did spill over to 104 because I couldn't decide which four films to knock off the list, so I just left them there. I also included 2025 and 2000 so, technically, it is 26 years. 

My biases show on this list. A good many of these picks have a sci-fi / supernatural element to them. Seven in the top 11 have either vampires, aliens or elves.  I gave up on the vampire genre quite a while ago because it was getting very tiring and formulaic, but there were three great vampire films so far in this century: Sinners, Let Me In and Let the Right One In. The latter two are basically the same film; one is American and the other Swedish. I am back in on vampire films. 

I adopted a child a few years ago, so my other bias is there are fantastic children's films on the list this is mostly due to the fact I am watching more of them. You may also notice there are some obvious exclusions: no Star Wars, Star Trek or Avatar. I didn't forget these. They just didn't make the cut along with Gladiator. Not a fan. 

Another bias: there are five Marvel films and only two DC. This is because Marvel is so much better than DC ... obviously.

No doubt I have forgotten some and will want to revisit later. Enjoy! 

1. Get Out
2. Everything, Everywhere, All at Once
3. Lord of the Rings: The Followship of the Ring
4. Moonlight
5. Sinners
6. Amelie
7. Fantastic Mr. Fox
8. Almost Famous
9. Let the Right One In
10. Let Me In
11. Arrival
12. Sideways
13. Midnight In Paris
14. The Lives of Others
15. Y tu mamá también
16. Anora
17. The Florida Project
18. Lost In Translation
19. Birdman
20. Parasite
21. The Big Short
22. Training Day
23. Inglorious Bastards
24. Spiderman 2 (2004)
25. Memento
26. Guardians of the Galaxy
27. Bugonia
28. Spotlight
29. The Visitor
30. Lady Bird
31. Best in Show
32. School of Rock
33. Up
34. Vanilla Sky
35. Black Hawk Down
36. Beasts of the Southern Wild
37. The Road
38. Black Panther
39. Gravity
40. Pan's Labyrinth
41. Moneyball
42. Roma
43. Donnie Darko
44. Kill Bill Vol. I
45. The Big Sick
46. The Martian
47. Room
48. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Danish version)
49. 12 Years a Slave
50. Zone of Interest
51. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
52. Mean Girls
53. Knocked Up
54. In the Loop
55. Billy Eliot
56. I, Tonya
57. True Grit (2010)
58. Adaptation
59. Hugo
60. Interstellar
61. Blue Jasmine
62. Whiplash
63. Thank You for Smoking
64. Lars and the Real Girl
65. American Psycho
66. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
67. Edge of Tomorrow
68. Manchester by the Sea
69. Mud
70. High Fidelity
71. The Cabin in the Woods
72. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
73. Hotel Rwanda
74. Slumdog Millionaire
75. Moon
76. The Ring
77. Boyhood
78. Anatomy of a Fall
79. Whale Rider
80. O Brother Where Art Thou
81. Life of Pi
82. The Worst Person in the World
83. District 9
84. Django Unchained
85. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
86. Avengers: Endgame
87. Inside Out
88. Wadjda
89. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
90. Little Miss Sunshine
91. Paddington 2
92. September 5
93. Palm Springs
94. Joker
95. Shrek
96. A Complete Unknown
97. Knocked Up
98. Shop Girl
99. Garden State
100. Watchmen
101. Half Nelson
102. Kick Ass
103. Quiet Place
104. I Am Legend

The Great Tune-Out

Louis C.K.'s comedy is based on how completely disgusting he is. When it was revealed that he was actually a disturbed and disgusting person no one should have been surprised right? Of course not, people freaked out anyway and he was cancelled. People are weird this way. He said exactly what he was, and people laughed, but when it was revealed that it was true, I guess not so funny anymore. Woody Allen is a similar story. He told us exactly who he was. In Annie Hall, he portrays a self-obsessed neurotic who is clearly him. In Manhattan, he was a pedophile. Why is anyone surprised when he ends up being exactly that? I see this same phenomenon with Trump. He told us exactly who he is and what he was going to do. Yet now that he is in office, they seem surprised about what he is doing. Why? He doesn't hide how awful he is. Why is anyone surprised?

During his first term, he had strong opposition in Congress. He couldn't get anything done. He had no capacity to do so. He wasn't a politician. He had no idea what he was doing. He was a bad businessman, a complete fake, out of his league in the public sector. A little boy in a big chair. Trump 2.0 is a bit different in that Republicans control both Legislative chambers and, arguably, the Supreme Court. He basically has a sycophantic, negligent and complicit Legislative branch. The Republican party's motto should be: lean over, open anus, thank you sir may I have another. 

When Trump won his second term, my first reaction was to tune out. For at least a week, I stopped listening to my current event and political podcasts. No radio news. Music only on the road. I deleted my NY Time and Washington Post emails, immediately, unread. I knew it was coming but it didn't stop me from going into shock when it happened. This is the country I live in, I guess. They would rather to be led by an incompetent, hateful egomaniac than ... say ... anyone else. I'd be happier, or more likely, less miserable with anyone else. We voted for the worst person in our country to be President, probably the most powerful person in the world, a second time. The first time wasn't a fluke. We are actually that awful! 

I slowly started up again. I started by reading the titles of my podcasts. Two weeks after the election, I listened to a few. By December 2024, I was completely ensconced in my news-junky lifestyle again. I know many people who are still tuned out. I understand, it is overwhelming. That is what Trump wants, right? For the people who hate him to tune out. He floods the zone so that there is so much going on that you cannot complain too much about one thing, here comes another and another. When it time to start paying attention again. Wake up! 

Filter out the shit and concentrate on the important stuff ... and, man, there is a lot of shit. If you tune out everything, he wins. Tune out the shit: the impotent comments, the juvenile arguments, the social media stuff. 

What he actual does, as opposed to what he says, is more important. 

Here are the bullet points:

• appointed a person who thinks vaccines are bad to be in charge of vaccines.
• claimed to hate entanglements in the Middle East, withdew from Iranian Nuclear agreement in his first term because it was Obama's, tried to get Iran to sign virtually the same agreement in his second term, and then bombed them because it looked cool when Israel did it. 
• alienates our allies
• cozies up to dictators
• claimed that Ukraine started the war with Russia (Orwellian scariness).
• tries to impeach judges that rule against him
• deports people, some who are actually citizens, without due process
• pardoned the January 6 terrorists
• cut funding of public media, Radio Free Europe, Radio Free Asia and the Voice of America. 
• over 1,000 grants cancelled funding scientific research. 
• over 100 lawsuits filed against his administration
• his Big Ugly Bill cuts funding to Medicaid and Food Stamps (aka the poor) to fund tax cuts for billionaires.

Approximately 135,000 government employees have either been laid off or left voluntarily. About one third of them were hired back (oops, we need those people). So efficient! 

I always assumed that I would slowly become more conservative as I got older but they aren't letting me. Between W and Trump, all the awful things I have said about Republicans throughout the years ... just weren't awful enough. I've been too nice. This current Republican party is not exactly conservative, not the conservative ideals I grew up hearing about from Eisenhower loving Republicans. Those Republicans respected the law. This shit we got here is new. It is not conservativism. It is just bullshit and it needs to be stopped. 

Courier Journal - Fall/Winter 2024

As it turns out, working as a courier in the deep of winter in Northern New England is exhausting. I was doing this job last winter, but that was an unseasonably mild winter. This winter kicked my ass. Working a job that you can sometimes walk over 18,000 steps in a day, my being in my 50's and having worked a desk job most of my life ... you could say it was rough. This is my explanation, my excuse, for not putting out a Courier Journal for Fall 2024, I was too exhausted to write. Not only that, but the heater in my living room went on the fritz. For the last month, the room where I do my writing has been freezing cold. 

Fall in Vermont elicits images of idealistic scenes of leaves changing, people raking and lots o' pumpkins. For us locals it means leaf peepers driving slowly and pulling over to take pictures of their trips north. We've gotten so used to the foliage, we often don't notice. You really have to watch your driving this time of year. You can turn a corner on a rural highway and come up on someone pulled over taking a scenic picture. Visitors don't always know how to drive on these roads. It reminds me of how bad I drove in Ireland. As it turns out, round-abouts are extremely confusing when you drive on the left side of the road. My brain doesn't work that way. I had to take several revolutions before I could get off. I have to remind myself of this, when I get pissed off at tourist drivers. 

Ever since I've moved to Vermont, I've noticed something very weird about Vermonters. They talk about Burlington like it is unsafe. I just don't get it, and it annoys me. It appears to me to be the safest city I've ever been in. Maybe it is an example of people not having travelled and not having experiences with any other cities, but it seems so preposterous to me. Business Insider magazine recently rated all of America's cities based on safeness. Burlington came in #4 while its neighbor, South Burlington, was #1. I am very lucky in that I work in both of these municipalities. New England fared well with Warwick RI, Nashua NH and Portland ME all making the top twenty.  

Crime isn't the only factor that is included on this rating but suffice it to say, I am safe when I walk around town or into people's backyards carrying packages for the good people of Burlington. It is not only a safe town but a happy and friendly place. People say "hi," smile and sometimes hold the door for me. One day recently, a woman on Church Street saw me carrying a very heavy package and walked along with me so that she could hold the door for when I got to the storefront I was going to.  One of my coworkers recently said that he feels like he needs a "bulletproof vest" when he delivers in BVT.  (No, he really said that.)  This is just completely fucking bonkers to me, but I lived in Boston for ten years and I never once felt unsafe, so maybe I am the one that isn't normal.  

Another thing I really appreciate about Burlington is this:

That's right porta-johns. Here's another:

I drink a lot of coffee so I have to pee a lot. Having these spread around the city is a godsend. The first one is in Battery Park. The second is on the corner of North Prospect and Loomis, I think. There are quite a few of them and not all of them are on construction sites. I love this town. 

Courier Journal - Summer 2024

Twenty four years ago, when I moved to Vermont, a Boston friend told me that I'd be back. I would get bored. She could not be more wrong about me moving back. I defend boring as a lifestyle. Of all the times of year, Summer in Vermont is the least boring. It is full of tourists and construction and a ton of things to do that are not accessible in the Winter ... like kayaking, hiking, wading in mountain streams. It is my favorite time of the year. Working as a courier in Vermont for the Summer is also great. Sure, it is hot, but Summer in Vermont is by no means as hot as most of our country.  Burlington gets a wind off of Lake Champlain that is quite lovely. 

Burlington vs. South Burlington: When I first moved to Vermont, I was surprised that it wasn't as liberal as I expected. Having moved from Boston, I am not sure what I expected but the people I was getting to know were not as liberal as I expected. Then someone explained to me that it was because I was working in South Burlington, that is where all the Republicans in Vermont live. I have not found anything to back that up. The county that both towns are in, Chittenden, is quite blue. The conservatives live up in the Northeast Kingdom not here in liberal Chittenden, but South Burlington is definitely more conservative than its larger neighbor to the north.  

Burlington is Vermont's largest city. To put things in perspective, it has a population of 44.5 thousand people. This is when school is in, the University of Vermont and Champlain College are in session. It gets significantly smaller in the Summer. South Burlington, a suburb of Burlington, is actually the second largest city in the state at 21 thousand people. Colchester, a town, is third with 17.5 which is also a Burlington suburb. The point I am making: Vermont has very few people and most of the people that live here, live in this county, Chittenden. Burlington is the funky college town. South Burlington is its mildly more conservative neighbor to the south that has no real downtown and a couple of malls. When college students move here and fall in love with the place, some of them stay. When they get older and grow tired of the city, they move into the Suburban city, South Burlington or the cozy lake town of Colchester .... hence they are slightly more conservative. 

People seem less happy in South Burlington than Burlington. I have no data to back this up, only anecdotes. When you don't have hard data, by all means, rely on anecdotes. What else do you have? I deliver in Burlington Tuesdays through Fridays, part-time. I work one full-time day and that is in South Burlington on Mondays. I deliver to doctor's offices, law firms, retail outlets, big corporate and government buildings and residences in both municipalities. In general, people in Burlington are a joy to deal with. They seem to be happy with what they are doing whether at home or at work. The woman that runs the bagel place on South Union St. or the people on the loading dock at the Red Cross ... they are a joy to deal with. I can't say that I run into anyone in Burlington that seems to hate their job or life in general. I can't say that about South Burlington. Some people are very pleasant, but I deal with some truly miserable people in that city. The joy is not there, just one zip code number away. My imagination or bias, perhaps. Take it for what it is worth. I've never liked the burbs so perhaps it is I that is miserable in South Burlington.

The problem with horns: One day I was approaching an intersection. I realized that I was in the wrong lane. Right directional on, I tried to change lanes. Visibility isn't great in a cargo van. The rearview mirror is blocked; the only reason it has one so that you can have a reverse camera. So it has a significant blind spot. I was taking a long time to change lanes. I heard a horn, someone was really leaning on it. When I heard the horn, I thought I was driving into someone that I couldn't see. So I pulled back into my lane. But I wasn't. The person beeping was just angry with me because I was taking so long. Because I didn't understand his beep, I took even longer. The problem with horns is that they don't come with explanations. A horn that says "you are going too slow" sounds exactly like one that says "you are about to crush me." Maybe someday we'll have a solution to this but until then. We will just have to be patient with each other. My rule about horns is that if I am using it in anger, then I probably shouldn't be using it. 

Fall has come. Students are back. Tourists (aka leaf peepers) are still here. Life is back to normal in Vermont. 

How Jim Rice Cured Me of Racism

I grew up around a lot of racism. We were a neighborhood of mostly white, working class Catholics of French Canadian origin. The N word was used often and not ironically. Awful Jewish jokes were told involving ashtrays. The term Puerto Rican was used as a term that meant someone couldn't follow the rules of a game or a lazy person. Stereo-types of the Polish, Asians and Portuguese were accepted as truth. I found myself buying right into it, because I was a kid I didn't know better. I remember an internal dialogue of trying to figure out what it all meant and how true it was. I didn't really have anyone strong in my life to set me straight.

At the time, in the 1970's, the media didn't help. We watched a lot of television, which was three networks of mostly crap with a lot of racisms mixed in there (along with a lot of other isms). We had the natives on "Gilligan's Island," the natives on "F Troop," or the Chinese on "Kung Fu." In serious shows, black characters were pimps and prostitutes like Sugar Bear on "Baretta." Occasionally we had a show that had a diverse cast of complex characters, I remember "Barney Miller" being one of them. The one real thing we had on television, that was not scripted, was sports. In my house, it was baseball.

1974 was the year Judge Garrity ordered Boston schools to be desegregated and forced busing began. For four years, he was kept under guard for his safety. Protesters burned him in effigy outside his home. Boston was a very racist city. In 1975, the Boston Red Sox were in the World Series. On that team were two amazing rookies, Fred Lynn and Jim Rice, often called the Gold Dust Twins for their able to cover each other in the outfield. Lynn won rookie of the year that year, Rice placed second. Lynn also won Most Valuable Player and Rice was voted third. They were an amazing team. If not for the slightly more amazing Cincinnati Reds (aka the Big Red Machine), they would have won the World Series. One year later, 1976, was the year I became a Red Sox fan. I knew nothing of their history.

The Red Sox, historically, was a very racist team. There is no denying this. They had early opportunities to draft Jackie Robinson and Willy Mays and did not do so because of their race. They were the last team to integrate, doing so in 1959 with Pumpsie Green twelve years after Robinson joined the Dodgers. This nonsense was so bad that at one point, they wouldn't even allow anyone on the team who wasn't Catholic. This explains why they were so bad for a long time. Their losing ways was mostly their own making. They were not alone in this, every team in Major League Baseball was doing it, but the Red Sox were one of the worst. It is our cross to bear as Red Sox fans. 

I didn't know it at the time, because children have no sense of history, but when Jim Rice became a star in Boston sports, this was a big deal. He was the first black star in Boston. He was the first of many to come. He was not just an incredible player and future Hall of Famer, but he was a gentleman and truly gentle spirit. Any time I heard a racist comment among my friends and at school etc., my go-to-black-man was Jim Rice. I'd ask myself is that true about Rice. Of course not. How could say that this guy was lesser than anyone else? This guy:

That was that. From there on, racism was nonsense, an embarrassment really. His soft spokenness, his classiness, on and off the field, his friendship with Lynn, Yazz and Dwight Evans, his amazing athleticism ... that's all it took.  I was cured. 

In 2016, I mourned David Bowie by playing nothing but Bowie for at least a week. My wife was a little irritated particularly with the obscure stuff. When Bob Dylan passes, I have no doubt, much to my son's displeasure, I will react in kind. When Kurt Vonnegut died in 2007, I walked around saying things like "So it goes" for at least a week. When Woody Allen dies, I foresee a moviefest even though his private life seems ... well... disgusting. Along with Walt Whitman, all their works have been formative in how I think, see the world and lead my life. Yet not a tear will be shed when they pass. I am not so sure about Jim Rice. I dread the day I hear about him passing; I get weepy just thinking about it. 

Trumps Second Term: Worst Case Scenario

I have always been a bit of pessimist. It is more of defense mechanism than anything. If I assume the worst is going to happen, when it doesn't, it feels like good news. When I was younger, during the Cold War, I'd wake up each day expecting Armageddon was coming. I'd put the radio on to catch the news, when the missiles weren't on their way, whatever I heard was happening in the world, yay, good news. We weren't all going to die today. 

When Trump was elected in 2016, this served me well. While others were shocked, stunned, and/or pissed off, I was thinking, "I knew it." In 2024, I do what I can to prevent him from being elected, but if it does happen, I will be prepared, emotionally anyway. What will his second term look like, I assume the worst of course. 

In 1934 Germany, an event took place, under Chancellor Adolph Hitler, often referred to as the Night of the Long Knives. I apologize for bringing up Hitler, but it is difficult not to when Trump is using words like "vermin" when he refers to Americans that disagree with him and is threatening retribution. For a three day period, Hitler's thugs (aka "brown shirts") went on a killing spree, executing Hitler's political opponents. The official number of victims is eighty but some say it was as high as a thousand. The real number was lost in the fog of war that was soon to come. It is something like this, that I see as a worst case scenario. Trump's "brown shirts", either under his direction or not, go after his political opponents. Not just other politicians, like Harris, Biden and Pelosi etc., but judges, lawyers, journalists, maybe even bloggers. He'll claim he had nothing to do with it and he'll get away with it. 

Trump's language at his rallies suggest that I am not too far off. He said some really disgusting things about fellow Americans, about me and probably you as well, and his crowd of supporters cheer him on. Some have even elevated him to a religious icon. What saved us from his first presidency is his administration's incompetence. Their total lack of direction was their ball and chain. This time around he already has more direction with Project 2025 backing him up. He also had a lot of traditional conservatives around him preventing him from going completely off the rails. His second administration, according to him, is going to have no such people in it. He has talked about a loyalty oath and firing anyone that won't sign it. 

Hopefully, I am wrong about all of this. Kamala Harris seems like a decent and capable person. Since, I'd vote for anyone running against Trump, she definitely has my vote regardless. 

My Grieving for American Democracy

American democracy is dying. It has been dying for quite some time, a long slow painful death. After this past week, one could pronounce it dead. Dead on arrival the moment Biden first talked at the presidential debate last week and showed us all how badly he had declined, intro to Diminished Joe. DOA at the moment that Trump told his first lie, first of many. If that didn't convince you, then certainly when the Supreme Court decided that the president couldn't be prosecuted for anything he/she did that was broadly related to their job ... certainly that killed democracy for you.

The first stage of grief is denial and you could say that is exactly where I was for the past decade or so until Thursday night when I laid down into bed to watch the debate. My wife already started it without me and within a couple of minutes I said "We are fucked" and she said "yup." This is when denial turned into anger, stage two of grief. I am angry that these are the two candidates we have to choose from. We are stuck with them: Biden, who looked like he was going to die on stage and couldn't put a coherent sentence together, and the unhinged Trump, the worst person in America ... a convicted felon, racist, sexual predator, a pathological liar and someone we already know was a truly awful president. 

I know what some of you are thinking, "but Mark, we have more than two choices. There are third party candidates." I have already considered this. The most popular and viable third party candidate, Robert Kennedy Jr., is just as bad of a choice as these two guys. Kennedy is a paranoid nut. If both my father and uncle were victims of public assassinations, I would probably be paranoid as well. He may be younger than our two octogenarians but his health is no better. He is just a notch better than Trump. 

I was on the Biden bandwagon until the debate. Joe has been an excellent president, one of the best in my lifetime. Originally, in 2020, I voted for Joe because I was voting against Trump not for Biden. As his administration progressed, I noticed a lot of good things happening: green spending, Judge Brown, childhood hunger going down, infrastructure spending, student loan debt loopholes sealed, bi-partisan deal on the border (that Trump killed) and elegantly walking a fine line in two foreign wars. His many years in the Senate has really paid off, but is he up to the job. I would like to point out that I still take Biden on his worst day over Trump on his best. The debate performance may have been Biden on his worst day, but for all we know, he has had a lot of these and his staff is just hiding it from us.

The most frustrating part of this is that both party have good and, some, young alternatives. Why are we stuck with these guys? The Democratic party has had plenty of opportunity to address this. Back in February, 2024, special counsel Robert Hur referred to Biden as "an  elderly man with a poor memory." Hur is not a political hack. He spent several days with the president. Why didn't they see this as a red flag? We have some great candidates that all poll well against Trump: VP Harris, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (MI), Gov. Gavin Newsom (CA) and Sec. Pete Buttigeig are all excellent candidates. We still have time before the convention to resolve this. Even the Republicans have some reasonable candidates. Both Mitt Romney and William Weld are still alive (my northeast bias is showing here). 

The next president will probably have two Supreme Court nominations. This is it folks. If you don't like what the Supreme Court is doing, we can't have another Trump presidency. Before I go into the next stages of grief: bargaining, depression and acceptance, lets try the defib pads one more time and see if we can resuscitate this Democracy ... unless you think Emperor Trump is good idea. 

Courier Journal - Spring 2024

It is amazing what a different city Burlington is when the warm weather comes. I attribute this to three factors:

• Once the colleges let out, about half the city's population leaves. So driving around the University and Champlain College is a lot easier. The busyness shifts to other parts of the city once they leave. This is a great relief for someone like me that always fears driving among the texting youth that seem oblivious of their surroundings. For about a week, moving vans clutter the streets. Then peace ensues, but other treachery awaits.
• Burlington is a beautiful city, vibrant and exciting. It sits on Lake Champlain with the Adirondacks to the west and the Greens to the east. Every weekend it seems we have a new festival.  Jazz Fest last weekend. Food fests, Reggae fests, Brewfests, etc. This means we have a ton of tourists, particularly from Boston, New York and Montreal. These aren't cities known for their good drivers. This brings a whole new dynamic to driving. 
• Because we are a cold weather climate, most of our road construction takes place in the few warm weather months. This makes Burlington a nightmare to drive in. It seems like there is construction every other street.  For these months, Vermont's state flag should be changed to have an orange cone on it.

I have always been frustrated with people. To put it bluntly I am not a "people person." Driving in the city during tourist season has not interacted positively with this part of my nature. Here is a short list of how people annoy me: 

• Don't park in loading zones. I've confronted several people parked in loading zones. The response I get is that "it is okay, I'm just going in the bank" etc. No, it is not okay. Loading zones are for commercial vehicles, loading and unloading. I don't think Vermonters know this. They think it is someplace to put your car if you have something quick to do.
• The stop line is where you stop at a stop light. At every light, there is a line on the ground that tells you where you are supposed to stop. Some of them are far back. An expert has studied this intersection and has determined where you should stop. If you stop after the stop line, there is a possibility that a bus may come along and not be able to turn because you are in the way. Just follow the rules and traffic will flow just fine.
• Red arrows mean you can't turn. I don't know why, but people just don't seem to know this. If a green arrow means you can turn, what do you think a red arrow means? 
• If you are going to hang out as a pedestrian and just look at your phone, don't do so at a crosswalk or an intersection. You may be oblivious to this but drivers think you are going to cross and react to you. Stand back and away from the curb.
• Try, if you are close, to use a crosswalk. Some cars actually do stop if you wait in the crosswalk. Chaos is good for no one. 

Traffic flowing helps everyone. 

We recently watched all three seasons on Ted Lasso. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out. If you don't have Apple TV, sign up for a free trial, watch Ted Lasso and then unsubscribe. You'll get all three seasons in before the month is out, I promise. The reason I bring this up, the main character Ted has a philosophy that has stuck with me, that he got from my favorite poet Walt Whitman, "Be curious, not judgemental." I have been trying to get into this mind set when I drive and for the most part it has been working. 

So far I've had these experiences:

• I was at an intersection (North St. and Willard), the light turned green, I was about to go straight (east on North) when I noticed coming down Willard a bicyclist that I knew wasn't going to stop at the light. So I waited or I would have hit him. Not only did he blow off the light but he wasn't even looking at traffic; he was looking at his cell phone. Be curious, not judgemental. Must have been doing something very very important happening on that phone. This philosophy is challenging. 
• At the corner of Main and Winooski, a woman decided driving through the intersection out of her lane through a red light, all the while with her hand on the horn honking. About ten cars were at the intersection and we all stopped to let her go. They probably were as stunned as I was. Be curious: must have been a real emergency, perhaps she was going to hospital (which is in the other direction).
• While driving on College Street, heading toward Winooski and downtown, in front of the library, I had to stop for a group of homeless people (or is it houseless now?). About seven or eight of them were yelling at each other, I had no idea what was going on. I waited until most of them crossed but one woman remained in the street and decided to dance in front of my truck. I lightly beeped but she seemed oblivious. I drove around her by driving with one tire on the sidewalk. Luckily there were no other cars or pedestrians coming. The traffic behind did the same. If this were to happen again, I might get out of my truck with blinkers on and tried to escort her out of traffic. Be curious: I wonder what she was on.
• This philosophy is difficult at times, but it seems to be working. I was driving up College Street one day and I noticed a car driving erratically in my rearview mirror. He seemed to be yelling at me. He decided to pass me on a city street. I yelled, "What the hell?" or something a bit more vulgar. I noticed his Quebec plate and judgement ensued, but I stopped it with curiosity winning over. He pulled in front of me and stopped. He got out of the car and approached my truck. "Holy shit!" I unrolled the window. In a very polite French Canadienne accent, he said "Your back door is open." My freight was exposed. The guy that I was about to yell at just put a lot of energy into saving my butt. The weather stripping on my cargo door was preventing a good closure on the door. I had to do a quick repair. Ted Lasso and Walt Whitman rule. Merci beaucoup! 

The quote does sound Whitmanesque, but I didn't recognize it. I know my Walt. I was curious, of course. Snopes says it isn't Whitman, I have to believe this is true. To me, it just makes Ted Lasso a more realistic character. He is wrong on a little thing but overall, he is very much correct. 

Most of the Spring was spent delivering in Burlington and occasionally South Burlington. The only exception was the day of the total eclipse. Because of the chaos downtown, most businesses were closed so my boss didn't need me in Burlington. So he sent me up to the islands which is a really beautiful spot in Vermont. The most Northwestern part of Vermont are a group of islands in Lake Champlain that border Canada and New York state. It was a gorgeous day and I finished working in time to get back home to watch the eclipse with my family.

Game of Thrones: Book to Film (S1E1)

With the exception of Tolkien, I've never been a big fan of fantasy fiction. I've tried. I've read many others, but none of them have been very appealing. Even when one of my favorite writers delve into fantasy, like Ursula K. Leguin or Kazuo Ishiguro, I just can't get into it. Tolkien, on the other hand, is enthralling. I've read the The Hobbit several times and the complete Lord of the Rings trilogy twice. Everything about his writing is amazing, character development, dialogue, plot line, social relevance, world building. He's got it all.  I haven't liked another fantasy writer at all until now. 

In my pursuit to read every book on my shelves at home, I finally picked up Game of Thrones: Book One of a Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin and started it. I've seen the HBO series a few times so it is impossible to get the actors out of my head when I read of the characters. I decided not to try. My first impression is how incredibly close the series is to the book.  The big difference is the age of the characters. Let's started with my four favorite characters: Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow and Arya Stark.

Tyrion, the imp, portrayed by the amazing Peter Dinklage is 32 years old at the start of the series. He is only 24 in the book. This is a complete mystery to me why they changed this. Perhaps it is because they wanted Dinklage for the part and he doesn't look 24 at all. Changing the age of the younger characters makes a lot of sense, but this one does. He looks at least 40 in the show. 

Having children actors, in any series, is problematic for a lot of reasons so I can see why they changed their ages. Children grow, when a series is seven seasons long, this could cause problems with the storyline depending on how much time passes in the story line. The aging process of adult's isn't as obvious and easily changed with lighting and makeup. Also, due to the sexual nature of some of the scenes, HBO could get into some trouble with under age actor. Using older actors, not only makes sense, it prevents a lot of legal and ethical problems. 

The character, Daenerys Targaryen, is 13 years old at the beginning of the book when she weds Drogo, but in the series she is 16 (Season One, Episode One: S1E1). The actress that portrays her, Emilia Clarke, is 25 at the time. I never thought she looked that 16. Perhaps having the difficult life of a transient has made her look older beyond her years. 

Jon Snow, the bastard, and his half brother, Robb Stark, are both supposed to be 14 years old. In the series, they are supposed to be 17. The actor, Kit Harington, that portrays Snow is actually 25 in Season One but he could pass for 17. 

Robb Stark is also 17 at the start of the series as well. The actor Richard Madden is 25 as well.  I don't know how they get these actors to look so young, but seven years seems to be a typical difference for actors. I recently heard an interview with Ron Howard where he said that he had a hard time finding acting gig when he was a teenager because people in their twenties could play teenagers. So it seems this has been going for a while. 

The younger Stark children Sansa, Arya, Bran and Rickon are 11, 9, 7 and 3, respectively, in the beginning of the book. They are 13, 11, 10 and 6 in Season One of the series. We aren't ever told how old Rickon is in the series, until his death is season three. He is 11. He is the only Stark child that isn't a major character. 

Arya actually looks 11. The actress, Maisie Williams, is 14 in Season One. When the book was originally published in 1996, she wasn't even born. 

The only character that is younger in series than in the book that I could find is Theon Greyjoy. He's 18 in the book but 16 in the series. I found this in google not the book. He's a very minor character early on in the story. 

Other than ages of the characters, the only difference from the book I could find in S1E1 is in the very last scene when Bran gets thrown off the tower. He overhears a conversation about political intrigue while the queen and her twin brother are having sex (this book has everything.) In the series, he only hears, and then, witnesses the sex. He doesn't hear the conversation. I can't imagine why they changed this. Length, I am sure, is always a good enough reason for an 800 page novel adaption.

Time to rewatch Episode Two. 

Courier Journal - Winter 2023-24

My wife has a folder in her desk called "Why I Do What I Do." It is filled with remnants from her years as a teacher ... drawings from kids, nice notes from parents or students, pictures, etc. I used to joke with her that if I had such a folder for my job in IT, it would have only one thing in it, my pay check. This is mostly true. While I have made some good friends, had fine experiences and I enjoyed the actual job (detective work solving computer problems for hospitals), ultimately, the biggest thing I liked about the job was the pay. The stress of the job always got to me. The corporate environment in general, was just uncomfortable to me. I felt so out of place, like a fish out of water, imposter syndrome abounds. I could feel the tension in my body simply approaching the building, the muscles tightening in my neck and shoulder. Even when I telecommuted, stress was bad but I admit not as much. I don't feel that now, at all. The money sucks as a courier, but I really do enjoy it. I feel very little stress. I might start a folder of my own. 

I have been delivering in the city of Burlington most of the winter so don't expect a lot of beautiful pictures of the VT landscape from me here. I have a few and the city is beautiful at times, but it is not like being out in the mountains for the day. I have delivered in Shelburne, Charlotte, Essex, New Haven, Johnson, Jeffersonville, Eden and Monkton this winter, but these are one-offs. I've spent most of my time in Burlington or South Burlington. South Burlington is technically its own city, but it is really just a big suburb of Burlington. I prefer the city or the countryside over the suburbs. Always have. 

The winter has been a mild one. I've had a few unbearable days. Mostly it is my hands that get cold. I wear layers but I need my hands free to use my devices for the job. I also fell on the ice once at an insurance company in South Burlington. As I write this, I still feel a pain in my left arm. The warm days are a problem because things melt and when the evening comes, it goes below freezing again and everything becomes ice, like this picture in Shelburne on Lake Champlain. 

Lake Champlain (Shelburne)

Camel's Hump (Waitsfield)

stream in North Ferrisburg

The dirt roads get muddy during the day and then freeze at night causing ruts that are difficult to drive on. The muddy roads aren't easy either. I've gotten stuck twice in the snow this winter, but almost got stuck in the mud once. It happens. I wouldn't have been the first driver to do so. 

Most of the driving I've done in my life has been in New England. So I don't know if this peculiar character of the roads are particular to New England or if it is like this everywhere. I am talking about how some roads change names for no apparent reason. I can understand a road changing name when it crosses a townline or perhaps when it crosses a major intersection, but here in New England road names, like the weather, change often. You could be driving on Greenbush Road in Charlotte Vermont, north for several miles, beautiful drive really. You go on for a few miles. All of sudden, the road name has changed and you are now on Bostwick Road. Why did it change? I don't know really. It might because the town changed. This is right about where Shelburne starts. You continue on Bostwick north, it turns east you can now see the Adirondack Mountains and Lake Champlain in your rear view mirror. You reach route 7 and guess what. Name change? You got it. It is now Marsett Road, but only for about 1000 feet. When you cross Mt. Philo Road, it changes again to Falls Road for another 1000 feet or so then it changes to Irish Hill Road. So in a matter of a mile, you haven't changed roads, but its name has changed four times.It stays Irish Hill Road for about a mile. When you cross Dorset Street it changes again to Pond Road. It travels by the beautiful Shelburne Pond, so lets rename the street, I guess. It stays Pond Road for a little over a mile and ends in St. George at route 116. I am grateful for my GPS.  

Luckily, I drive in Burlington most days and no longer need to use a GPS because I've gotten to know the city so well. An order does exist. Remember, it is still a Northeastern city, so it is not a grid like Midwestern cities. But once you figure out the order of things, it is quite pleasant. 

This is a city that is so messed up that it has both a North Avenue and a North Street. They are both major roads and they intersect. The planners were not thinking of visitors when they planned this city. 

Burlington pivots around Pearl Street. You think it would have been arranged around Main Street, which is one street away, but I am grateful it has some order so I won't complain too much. Streets that cross Pearl, have the North or South designation. On the North side is North Winooski, North Union, North Willard, North Williams and North Prospect. South of Pearl, you have the same streets but the South versions. Champlain Street doesn't ever reach Pearl, it must have at some point. Now there is a huge complex that includes the Marriot and the Hilton are where Champlain would connect, but there are still a North and South Champlain. 

The main West/East streets downtown are (going South to North) Maple, Main, College, Bank, Cherry, Pearl and North Street. I remember MMCBCPN. I haven't made a nifty mnemonic for it yet. The North/South Streets are (going East to West) Prospect, Willard, Union, Winooski, Church, St. Paul, Pine, Champlain and Battery or PWUWCSPCB.  It doesn't exactly roll off your tongue but I remember it. 

Getting oriented in Burlington isn't very difficult because you have a big lake. If you can see Lake Champlain, you know what direction you are facing. If you are driving towards the lake, you are facing West. You can see the Adirondacks, that's New York State. All else falls into place after you know that. If it is in your rearview mirror and you are facing the Green Mountains, you are driving East. If it on your left and you are going towards Colchester, North. On your right and headed toward South Burlington, South. 

I spend good part of my day driving up and down Pearl Street. If I get a package to deliver on ### North Willard, I simply drive down Pearl and turn onto North Willard and look for the number. if I took any of the other East/West streets, I would be taking the risk that I am going to turn the wrong way once I got to Willard.  

I time my day to be near Church Street around noon because I have a choice of about twenty (no exaggeration) amazing coffee shops where some of them even know my name now. Some of them even give me free coffee.  So far, life is good being a courier. 

Courier Journal - Fall 2023

I know three people who died of heart attacks in my time as a software analyst/engineer. Some of them younger and in better health than me. So when I had a heart attack this past January, still unemployed from my IT career, I decided to find something that I enjoy to do that ... well ... won't kill me. One of the joys of my life is driving around Vermont. So I became a courier and now I drive all over VT and get paid for it. I don't get paid a lot, less than half my old salary. You could say I am working for benefits and winding down to my retirement. I am enjoying it.

After a regiment of training and tests, I started off delivering, solo, in the towns of Charlotte, Vergennes, North Ferrisburg and Shelburne, and occasionally in Panton and New Haven. These are all beautiful towns that hug Lake Champlain south of Burlington along routes 7 and 23. These are truly stunning places. 

Here is an example of a driveway I had back down in my truck.  It is not the most difficult one I've had to do either. 

I believe I was at the foot of Mount Philo in North Ferrisburg when I took this.  That is Mt. Mansfield, VT's largest mountain, in the distance. 

This is the Otter Creek taken from MacDonough Park in Vergennes (the smallest city in the US).

Taken from a covered bridge in Charlotte, VT (I believe):

This horse farm is in Shelburne. 

I believe this is West Charlotte.

I don't take pictures while I am driving. I have to pull over or sometimes, I am delivering something and I see something picturesque while I am at a stop ... I pull out my phone and snap it. I was planning on taking a picture of something beautiful everyday, but that is difficult when weather is bad.  Also, something else happened.

This is a long route which means a very long day. On some days, I was in at 6:30am and out at 7:30pm, not getting home until after 8pm while my son was going to bed. I was exhausted and made mistakes because of it.  I told my boss that I thought this route was a young man's route and I didn't think I could take it. He understood and we worked it out that I am a part timer now. This is actually great for me, because I get home in the afternoon now and can usually catch my son's bus. I keep my full benefits as well.

Now I am driving the Burlington priority route. I still really enjoy this, although it is less pretty, this is a really great city. I deliver priority packages all morning to the College, Church Cherry and Main Street area. I get a few non-priority packages in the afternoon and then I head home. I deliver blood to the Red Cross, drug and vaccines to pharmacies etc. It is a good living. 

I try to time it so that I am around Church Street for my break. So I can go to Muddy Waters for some chili and coffee or one of the other funky cafes. I am getting to know the business people on my route, some of whom I see everyday. While some of the drivers who deliver to Burlington seem to be burnt out on my place, I seem to love it more everyday, warts and all. Hopefully that doesn't change. 

I do have a suggestion for you if you want to make things easier for your delivery person. Make sure the number of your house is visible. If you are rural, try to put your number on the road somewhere. I waste a lot of time trying to find the correct house. It is not always obvious. On the days I do work late, finding a house in the dark is very challenging ... especially if the number on a brown house are also brown or just not posted. Make it obvious and easy to find and read. Safety is something to which we all contribute.