Friday, October 26, 2012

The Words We Cannot Say

We do have freedom of speech here in America. All that means is that the government cannot limit our speech. Your speech can be limited by your employer, a person or a corporation.  For example, if you started screaming racial epithets in the workplace, you could be fired. This makes sense to a point.  Your employer has a responsibility to maintain a safe and accessible workplace for all employees. If you are using a corporation's servers, like Facebook or Myspace for example, you have agreed to a certain code of behavior. They could severe your ties at any time if you broke that code. We also socially keep each other's vocabularies in check. We have the C word, the F word, the N word and now ... wait for it ... the R word. If you violate these rules, you may release a shit storm upon yourself beyond your imagination. Earlier this week, shock pundit (aka scumbag) Ann Coulter called President Obama a "retard" on Twitter. She is a hateful person. We seem to tackle people like her the opposite way than we should. Instead of ignoring her and letting her say any stupid and hateful thing that she will, we respond to her, comment on her and share her stupidity with our friends. We do exactly what she wants us to do. We give her publicity.  I guess, to some extent, I am doing the same with this posting.

Not only do we freak out when someone uses the C, N and R words (lesser extent F), but you can get into trouble for using a word that sounds like one of these words.  In 2002, an elementary school teacher in Wilmington, NC was reprimanded and forced to take racial sensitivity training for using the word "niggardly" (which means stingy). This word sounds like the infamous N word, but has a different meaning and etymology. Again, wouldn't a better response be to teach the offended parent that she is wrong and it is not even the same word? Shouldn't we just buy this person a dictionary and teach her how to use it? But no, they punished the person with the high vocabulary and enabled the ignorance of the person complaining. Lets just make everyone afraid to say what they are thinking. Lets just turn our daily discourse into a trite self-righteous political-correct-fest.

So let me add to this. Twenty-two letters in our alphabet need assignment. Let me beat them to the punch. I don't have all of them so feel free to assist me in this venture.

A-word = asshole
B = bitch
D = douchebag
E = egghead
G = gook
H = hate
I = Indian
J = jizz
K = Kiwi
L = loser (for we all know we are all winners)
M = moron
O = Oreo
P = pussy
Q = queer
S = stupid
T = tits
U =
V = vagina
W = whitey
X =
Z = zebra

Perhaps a better S-word would be Seacrest and a K-word of Kardashian, but I digress.

From this day forward, these words will not be spoken. Also, for now on, when I leave my house I am taking a dictionary with me. I plan on using the word "niggardly" quite often and when someone complains ... I am going to call them an M-word, tell them I H-word them and to go read the F-word dictionary. Offense is the residue of a free society.  We take the offense and learn to deal with it, because the alternative is tyranny.

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