On Catholicism

I grew up Catholic. I have to say, for the most part, it was a positive experience. Yes, they weren't big on free thought or being challenged, but there are other things I got out of it. Having a place to go every weekend, with my dad, to gather with people I know, sing, engage in ritual and socialize afterward, not exactly a bad thing. I actually considered the clergy as a vocation for a short time in my youth. I was that serious about it. At some point in my late teens I realized that I no longer believed in God in any shape or form. I am not sure if I remember this correctly, I may have mythologized it a bit in mind, but I believe it just struck me one day as being a very silly idea. I had some doubt early that gradually grew and I have no idea what got me over the hump.  I told my mom that I had my doubts and that I probably shouldn't be making my Confirmation. She was quite adamant about me sticking with it with something like "... while you live in this house ..." etc. I made my Confirmation which was a big lie. That was the lesson my young mind learned at that point. Sometimes a Big Lie is what you do to maintain the peace.

I made my Confirmation, I lied through the entire process and continued going to church with my dad pretending the whole way through. I even wrote a letter to Bishop Angel proclaiming that I wanted to be a "knight for God's righteousness" some bullshit like that. When I met him in person, he told me that I should be a priest so that I could write sermons. This was the first person ever to compliment me on my writing. Another positive experience. On my 18th birthday, in my senior year in high school, I told my parents that I was an atheist and that I was no longer going to attend church. This had nothing to do with abuse or any actions by anyone in the church, but more to do with my beliefs. The church was complete bullshit to me and my young rebellious mind, and I was sick of lying and pretending. I was an adult now and I was going to make my own decisions. They could throw me out of the house if they wanted to. They did not. I was going off to college anyway.

Most of the priests and nuns in my parish were decent people, some were positive role models and great people to know. I was an altar boy for many years and got to know some of them very well. I was never touched inappropriately by anybody to my recollection and I was alone with them a lot. As far back as I can remember, we did joke about priests being pedophiles. We didn't use that word in the 1970's, but it was something we talked about. I don't know why. The specter was always there it seemed. To my knowledge, none of them ever got charged with anything. My worst experience with a priest was with one we called Father "Rubbernose" when I was very young. I don't remember his real name but it sounded like that. In one of my first experiences in Sunday school, Rubbernose threw a chalk at my wide open mouth as I yawned. It missed but then he yelled that it was rude to yawn in class and that he could see the "dog food" that I had for breakfast in my mouth. I wrote this off as him being insane and old. He retired a short time afterward and was replaced by some hip younger priest, Father Paul. I remember one time going on an outing with him in his sports car with two friends, Ken and Jimmy, listening to Zeppelin and all four of us singing "Stairway to Heaven." My best memory is of Father Lessard on an altar boy outing at Camp Ker-Anna in Cumberland, RI when he let us boys climb on top of him in the lake and he would pick up each of us kids and throw us to the deep part. He was a very strong, stoic and sweet man. He seemed to really love us and we respected him a lot.

Regardless of these mostly positive memories, I really hate Catholicism. Everyone that knows me knows how much I hate the Republican party. It is all over Facebook and Twitter. Yet most don't know what I think about Catholicism. Well, here it is. My disdain for the Catholic Church far outweighs my disdain for the Republican party perhaps tenfold. Republicans suck, but at least, they are obvious about it. Regardless of how disgusting the Republicans are, we don't leave our children with them. Catholics claim righteousness and then are guilty of one of humanities worst crimes, preying on children. I generally don't bring it up because I don't want to lose my composure, so please excuse me while I do so in writing.

The report that came out this week about priest pedophiles in Pennsylvania isn't old news. This is just the latest. Over 300 priests, over 1,000 victims in 70 years in only six dioceses. Some of the victims are as young as 18 months old. Some of the offenses happened in places we consider very "safe" like in hospital rooms. Wrap your head around that!  Someone sexually abused an 18 month old kid. Someone did it in a hospital room. Families trusted these people with vulnerable members of their families and they betrayed that trust. The report I read in the Washington Post described some really gruesome acts. Other reports I've heard have described priests passing boys around among a small group of priests in-the-know ... like trading cards. Sick shit!

The Church knew about all this and did their best to hide it. When caught, they simply shuffled the priests to other parishes so that they could prey on other innocents. The leadership structure in the Vatican hasn't changed. No reason exists, other than the investigations, for this behavior not to continue. They've changed nothing and the Pope's response (supposedly a "good" Pope)  is pathetic. America isn't the only place this is happening. Australia, Chile, Canada, France, Ireland and Germany all have major investigations going on.

Here is the thing that really disgusts me: people I know, and some I even love, are still members of the Catholic Church. If you are still a member of this sick entity called the Catholic Church, you are a part of the problem. If you give them money, you are supporting pedophilia. If you are bringing up your children in a Catholic Church, the only reason why they are safe is because they are being watched. The moment the world stops watching, they will be at it again. Why would you continue associating with this organization? I question your intelligence and your morality. It is time you join the ranks of the recovering Catholics.

Now, I know I sound intolerant, but intolerance is okay when you are intolerant of a disgusting organization like the Catholic Church. My intolerance isn't the problem, your complacency is. And if you are a member of one of these churches, you are complicit. Judgement of you will ensue.